Grand Theft Crypto: “Strategic Bitcoin Reserve”

Three card monte has never been easier to see or harder to win

When I was a kid I went to New York City with my mom and there was a three card monte game going on the sidewalk so I made her stop to watch it. After a while I got the hang of it and told my mom I wanted to try it. She warned me I would never see the money again but agreed to forward me some allowance anyway, so I gave the guy $10 and he laid out the cards, showed the queen, and started shuffling.

I kept my eye on the queen, and when he stopped shuffling, I picked the one next to it — because although I didn’t know how he did it, I knew that it was never the one he wanted you to think it was.

I saw in his eyes that I got it right, but then he turned over the card I was supposed to pick, the wrong one, shrugged “Sorry, kid. Next time,” and immediately went to the next person.

I was stunned. He just lied, and stole my money — in front of everyone. When I looked up and pleaded with my mom to intervene, she declined, and explained that sometimes being right doesn’t matter. Sometimes the game is not fair.

I tell this story because I see this same dynamic at play on a massive scale right now with Bitcoin, a subject I’ve written about before, but because of the election now has potential nuclear implications for the financial system. There is a major push for a “Strategic Bitcoin Reserve” — led by Wyoming Senator Cynthia Lummis, herself a case study in why it’s madness that a bunch of unpopulated ranches have as much power in the Senate as the fifth largest economy in the world, California.

(Also, by the way, I think any actual Senator tweeting “to the moon” should require intervention.)

Here are the basics of her proposal:

The idea is that over the course of 5 years the US government would be forced to purchase 200,000 Bitcoins with actual physical gold reserves, every year. At the current price that would be $100 billion in precious metal in exchange for 1,000,000 worthless prime numbers.

But, and this is important, the government would be forced to “hodl” for 20 years minimum — effectively the heat death of the Universe in crypto. Bitcoin technology will be completely obsolete.

In the last 5 years, the price of Bitcoin has gone from about $7,500 to over $100,000. If the price of Bitcoin goes up another 10X over the next 5 years, the cost to the United States could be more than $300,000,000,000 — but we couldn’t sell it until 2049.

The idea that we would trade a massive chunk of Fort Knox for completely worthless numbers which only have value in the price you can sell them for — and then give up the option to sell it — would be comedic if it didn’t have such a good chance of happening.

On Thursday, Donald Trump invented a new White House Czar for “AI & Crypto” and designated white supremacist PayPal Mafia oligarch, David Sacks, Musk’s best buddy, for the “job.”

Here are Sacks and antisemitic Putin propagandist Jackson Hinkle two years ago, praising the wonders of Elon Musk’s management of Twitter because Musk let all the Nazis back on.

“It’s actually very brave.”

Sacks, like his colleague Elon Musk, is a South African immigrant who spent part of his childhood in apartheid — as did Peter Thiel.

Musk will be putting massive pressure on the budget by bullying Congress with DOGE — which is named after Musk’s other crypto pump and dump memecoin, Dogecoin — while Sacks and others try to snooker the United States into a giant financial black hole by forcing all of us to “invest” in a massive Ponzi scheme designed to explode.

Note that Howard Lutnick, friend of Jeffrey Epstein, who committed millions as co-chair of the Trump campaign, launched Rumble for Peter Thiel, and manages $100 billion of Tether, the “stablecoin” underlying Bitcoin, has been nominated to be Secretary of Commerce. They have got the economy surrounded.

The only entity almost certain to never profit in this scheme is the US Government, and consequently the American people — which is the entire point. This is Grand Theft Crypto, the largest attempted heist in world history, being done right in the open.

Kinzinger has it right.

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